In Celebration of Festive F*#%ing
What better time of year for a sexy fling than Christmas? Spirits are high, the office is closed, and opportunity is everywhere. Slip a tube of lube in your pocket and off you go!
It’s a season of celebration, and with the last two tiring years and their limitations behind us, New Zealanders are ready to seize the day, grasp the moment and live life to its sensual fullest!
Yes, Christmas is a time of plenty, with gifts, and food, and refreshing drinks flowing. It’s a time for loved ones and friends and sunshine and … summery sex!
Christmas Parties are notorious for impromptu hook ups or finally being brave enough to take a run at that gorgeous guy from accounts. Kiss under the mistletoe? Don’t mind if we do! If the object of your affection doesn’t return the same lusty gaze, it’s okay – there’s plenty of time for the disappointment to fade before you’ll be back at work and handing over the monthly report.
People in committed relationships are often pressed before the big day, but as soon as Christmas lunch is eaten, the pace slows. People relax, take naps, leave the dishes to later. We have one champagne too many and get giggly in the heat, and have to go for an afternoon swim in the sea. Children run riot and adults quietly pair off for a sexy afternoon interlude with the blinds drawn and the door locked.
Shall we begin a petition to rename Boxing Day to F’ing Day? Does the boxing even still happen? We can assure you that the f’ing does!
Long summer evenings and sandy toes tangling between the sheets are the stuff of core memories and we recommend that you accumulate as many sexy sandy memories as you can while the sun shines on summer.
We brainstormed a list of how to have great Christmas Sex and bonk your way through summer. It’s by no means a definitive list but we’re sure you’ll take some inspiration away!
Be brave. The only thing you’ll regret at the end of summer is the things you didn’t do.
Choose wisely. Lovers are an obvious choice. The boss at the Christmas party is an outside gamble and could have rather large consequences.
Only lovely sex partners need apply for summer sojourns – no matter how casual or how serious the connection, you should walk away from any sexual encounters feeling cherished and fantastic.
Pack your Lube and condoms. Prepared is smart, and shows you care too.
It doesn’t need to be 10pm in your bedroom. Find your secluded spot and make sure you’ll be alone and enjoy each other anywhere – it’s warm everywhere!
Make time for your long term partner, and make sure they know you think they are very, very special. Spell it out with your tongue if required. It’s easy to get caught up in busy-ness and socialising, so remember your number one person should come first. (See what we did there).
Remember the romance. Pop a bottle of champagne between the sheets or give a gift that reminds your partner how sexy you think they are.
Savour every day. Breathe in. Feel your body move. Touch your salty skin and remember – you are beautiful, sexual and powerful. You deserve love… and if not love right now, gorgeous, intense, body-shaking sex.
